salihah.blogspot.com

Video Games

2012-01-11T02:43:00.001+11:00

I say you the bestest
Lean in for a big kiss
Put his favorite perfume on

Go play a video game

Need You Now

2012-01-06T00:48:00.000+11:00

well it's done, I'm coming home for good soon, I suppose it's the right decision, part of moving on to a different stage of life. will defo miss Melbourne, but I'm doing this mainly for my parents so I hope good intentions will be met with good things in the future. I am only sad I will not be making as much money back home as I would be here (ha!)

it was a good run.

At Home

2011-11-30T18:03:00.000+11:00

I just watched the "My Tram Experience" video, where a woman made some racist slurs but essentially complains about how Britain is no longer the Britain they knew (influx of immigrants etc) - and this is true, if you walk the streets of Melbourne, or Wimbledon, or most places in a 'white' country esp major cities you'll probably find 1 in 10 to be Caucasian.

Whilst I could understand the frustration - I am not so cocky to call myself not racist, I think a lot people are hypocritical about this issue - I admit I will get uncomfortable, and have been, if the streets of Kuala Lumpur are filled with Indonesian/Bangladeshi/Nepali labour immigrants - so essentially this fear of your country no longer being 'yours' rings true.

But if there's anything history has taught us, things and landscapes, be it economical or social, change; some more gradual or rapid than others; but it's a continuous process in phases. The earth or land masses in the end is for all humanity, a certain race may have occupied it for centuries and centuries, but there will come a time for some form of 'invasion' or new occupation; colonisation, trades, war refugees, whether in Europe or Africa, gold rush, etc. And given the steep progress technology has made, globalisation in one form or another, is inevitable. Whether you like it or not, everyone of any race will eventually cross paths and get jumbled up, and issues such as retaining identity and culture will rise, but if there's any good time to look beyond face value, this would be it - after all, we are all humans. Idealistic, but true nonetheless. We just need to remind ourselves of this, and embrace whatever change may come, because it will.

Big Jet Plane

2011-11-07T22:11:00.001+11:00

I don't know if it's circumstantial but everything seems to piss me off these days; I think I'm losing my mind

Midnight City

2011-09-28T16:05:00.001+10:00

it's raining

Desert Island

2011-09-25T02:11:00.002+10:00

it is during these times that I miss you the most, and wish you'd never left.

Faithful

2011-08-24T21:53:00.002+10:00

I FEEL LIKE POO

Love Will Tear Us Apart

2011-08-22T12:42:00.002+10:00

I'm drowning in my final semester.

Happy Birthday

2011-08-10T00:04:00.002+10:00

they don't make strikers like you anymore

One and Only

2011-08-07T15:14:00.001+10:00

50 years late probably but I now realize what the big fuss about this album was about

Desire Lines

2011-08-06T20:12:00.000+10:00

I have terrible mood swings that drifts in and out for two weeks in a month and when it does I become totally frantic or a complete depressive. I also have difficulty in saying what I really want to or conveying emotions sometimes mostly for fear of rejection or being looked at like a freak or sounding stupid and if you're (un)lucky it comes snowballing into incomprehensible words woven into a maze and most of the time it sounds even more stupid than stupid. It's either that or I am so straightforward to the point that it is no longer believable as I will say things with such apathy. Unless you are a very close friend or someone that has been with me for years and we've gone through hell and back this will most likely happen.

And happening.

Elevator Love Letter

2011-07-20T02:27:00.000+10:00

"no more sleepovers, no more writing poetry, no more wasting time. Time to tidy up your life, time to start again"

Emma Morley conquered the gift of confidence at the age of 30something. I'd be damned if it'd take me that long.

I happen to think I'm worth more than that, Dex.

2011-07-15T18:50:00.000+10:00

tidy up

Cannons

2011-06-29T17:45:00.000+10:00

Why do I like Withnail & I so much, other than the brilliant acting, script and soundtrack? I feel I could relate. That's stretching it a bit really to be honest, I've never been down in the dumps to that extent nor have I been under such extensive amount of alcohol, drugs, buggering, whatever it is that Withnail and I went through.

But there's something, somewhat endearing to Withnail's morbidity - I particularly liked his quote, "throw yourselves into the road darling, you haven't got a chance!" I think that represents a substantial amount of my usual thoughts. Withnail, drowning his sorrows in all that could avoid sobriety, seemingly unconcerned; yet with that final scene, his soliloquy in front of the wolves (incidentally one of my favourite animals) - that was pretty heart wrenching I thought.

Perhaps it is a bit odd to be thinking of this movie in broad daylight in my room accompanied by my 3 cats, but I was thinking about something, a decision to be made, a risk to be taken - thinking positively I wanted to "go for it!" and be happy and all that, and when it came down to it I was pulled back by my senses, re-read some of the stuff/personal entries that I know would make me think otherwise or 'keep me in check' - and that's when Withnail's quote came to mind.

Throw yourselves into the road darling, you haven't got a chance.

Excuses

2011-06-19T22:38:00.000+10:00

Gosh haven't written in here for so long, but then again that's a good thing yes? I don't know. I don't know what I'm about to write or what I should. As months pass I find that I have lesser things to say, because all I do is go around in circles. I have these many voices and thoughts in my head that I can't pinpoint. I want something, only to change my mind the next 5 seconds. Not because I want to but because situations warrant it. I am very thankful with what I've got but some parts in life, I am a tad bit unlucky, or maybe I brought it upon myself. I don't know what I'm saying. I feel like I hold back a lot. Why is it so easy for some people to know what they want, jump into it, and move on if it backfires? I feel like I'm just staring at the ground below from a cliff high above, deciding whether I should jump, and would always to turn back instead of taking the risk/chance. I think taking risks/chances are a load of bull, it's overrated. Not with careers or anything of the sort, those things are life-changing and could give a high return, but with people. I just see no point in it. People will always be people. Are we really going to die without the mere existence of one person? No, there are almost 6 billion other people that we can know. So why is it important for us to fixate on something that's not even 'it'? And people disappoint. I don't know if I have ridiculously high expectations, sometimes I do sometimes not, and they just disappoint, why should I take risks only to get burned many times? Gosh, I sound bitter hey but I really am not, I just float around. I feel something, but I don't feel too much, just occasionally I do, when I have nothing to do. Some of my friends think I'm too negative, too pessimistic, like my poli sci tutor, but I call myself a realist - wouldn't it be better to expect the worst, rather than hope? That sounds astoundingly morbid come to think of it. What has happened to me? When did I become this person? I used to believe I could do anything, achieve anything, know what I want - the only thing that hasn't changed about me is my love for Juventus - but here I am now, unsure of the future, not knowing what to do, and fighting this jumbled up emotions within and I can't even decide how I want to deal with things because sometimes, I don't think I even know myself, I need my friends to tell me what I'm like or who I am. I think this entry is xanga-worthy, ha ha. Um, so yes, I guess that's all for now. Not that anyone's going to read this, but I would love it if someone who's gone through early 20s confusion could just tell me how it'll all work out in the end. But I'm happy, I really am. Hanging out with my friends keep me happy, they're all I've ever looked for in people - acceptance, that it's okay to be who you are. Okay, now I'm just getting sappy and cliched like a bad chick flick they show on the telly. I just think it'd be nice not to be disappointed for once, I think I've had too much of it, yes I know other people have it worse, but really, I just really, really need something consistently good in life so that I know all is not yet lost, that there's some nice/good part of me is still alive.... I feel dead sometimes. I don't know why but Streisand in The Way We Were comes to mind when she says, "but I'm a very good loser, I've had lots of practice." What bullshit, no one should ever be put in that position. That's why I love that movie so much; because Streisand is my greatest fear - I never, ever, ever want to become that woman, to have invested so much only for everything to turn into dust, and I've seen it happen so many times - so really why bother people? Why?

Smile Like You Mean It

2011-04-27T02:40:00.000+10:00

Juventus -

I love you,

no matter what.

Daylight

2011-04-17T05:35:00.001+10:00

my guy friends (and Jade of course! hee) just surprised me with courting me to dinner, flowers, fine dining, tiffany's necklace and some dancing. I am so overwhelmed. I wish I could express how I love them, so, so much, so much. so in the unlikely event they're reading this - I really, really do love you guys. And I mean, REALLY.

Thank you for the most memorable birthday ever.

Talamak

2011-03-29T00:11:00.000+11:00

D I S C I P L I N E

If found, please return.

Been insanely busy, miss those days where I could spend 5 hours reading on/discussing Juventus. These days all I can afford is to watch every game; and personally I think that's minimal at best. FML!

Baby

2011-03-21T16:43:00.000+11:00

I found this list I made a few weeks ago:

I want:
- to go to the French film festival
- eat and relax at a quiet, well decorated cafe or bar
- go for a lengthy but relaxed ride somewhere... and not alone.
- stay at home and watch dvds with no thoughts of studying, job applications, or losing weight
- read a really good book
- taste really good dessert - either creme brulee, sticky date pudding or apple crumble
- watch a movie at nova at night
- eat healthy food at spudbar again

Will Do

2011-02-26T21:16:00.001+11:00

2011 so far has been pretty challenging. I really want to have a good year this year, but I'm at a phase in life where nothing is working out - jobs, personal life, etc. But it's okay, life's all about phases so I just have to ride this one out.

Breathe...

Evidence

2011-01-30T01:50:00.000+11:00

I miss the girls. Things aren't the same anymore, and there were so many times where I would just want to text or call them up to talk about things, because I've never known a life of going through some things without them by my side. But it's just different now, even if I want to say some things, about anything, I just no longer could, and it's hard to explain but we know it to be true. Sometimes I wonder if I did the wrong thing, perhaps was too selfish to have opted to run from the situation and avoid everyone rather than confront it. Well I tried to but it was too much heat for me to handle, and at that point I didn't want to be sucked into it because it would only make me sad. Either way, I did not come out unscathed - trust was somehow breached and I became despondent and exasperated, only later did I realize how sad I really was, maybe I've been running from it too long, it was new year's eve and I realized every year I would celebrate it with the girls and this year it was not going to happen, and I didn't want to celebrate it with anyone else so I decided to spend NYE alone at home.

But anyway, I rarely update this blog nowadays and I don't think there are any readers left, but it makes me feel better to say these things that I was too cowardly to say out loud, because when confronted my tongue gets glued or rather I just wish to retreat - but anyway, I miss you girls, and it's been difficult without you here.

Kissing the Beehive

2011-01-24T14:14:00.000+11:00

can't wait for Sunday. After what is probably a decade of listening to their albums, I will finally get to see my favourite band perform live, god willing.

(this blog is kind of dead. I don't know how to pick up where I left off)

Home

2010-12-07T23:12:00.002+11:00

don't ever tell anybody anything, if you do, you start missing everybody.

Juventus vs Fiorentina

2010-11-28T19:35:00.000+11:00

Trust Viola to always perform their best against us (Boruc - what the hell?!) I hate Mihajlovic with a passion, as usual the spirit is there but our lack of a potent striker is never more apparent than in this game, squandered chance after chance. We were the better team, drew, but while we have greatly improved this game also served as a reminder of why there's still some rebuilding left needed. Also, Motta would surely like to forget this match.

You must remember we cannot afford to lose more points. Milan drew, often we have the advantage to cut down the difference in points, but failed to do so. Del Neri was right, we do not want to look back to this game in May when two points were dropped.

Storari - wasn't really tested, couldn't do much about the OG.

Motta - not worthy of comments. A liability to Krasic on that flank, does not defend at all stands like a tree, caused us an own goal, must not start - funnily enough we equalised right after he came off. Sounds harsh, but needs to be said until he improves.

Bonucci - good showing, this boy's improving and made an excellent tackle on Vargas, played higher up as well

Chiellini - class as usual, like his partner Leo also played higher up in desperation for an equaliser

Grosso - is Grosso, neither here nor there

Krasic - constantly surrounded by two or more men, was pretty silenced, but still managed to get some crosses in and such. Our heavy reliability on this sole man for creativity need to be reduced so that we can spread more.

Melo - good game I thought

Aquilani - relatively quiet than his usual Juve showing, didn't run as much.

Marchisio - good game, yellow carded for that tactical foul.

Quag - the worst of our 3 strikers

Del Piero - one powerful free kick, one slightly wide, terrible corners taken all short, started badly but slowly got into the game - his lack of pace this season has been costing him, but even so still had a few nice flicks to offer. Ballooned a good chance.

Iaquinta - squandered some chances as well, but was more effective than Ale and Quag.

Lanzafame - short time to play, no comments really.

Pepe - brilliant goal, always liked him, but that run in at the last minutes that allowed Viola a free kick gave me a heart attack.

Pupus

2010-11-24T19:57:00.000+11:00

I am, generally, contented with life. I have found that as long as you let no one into your little bubble of vulnerability, you'd always be safe from harm, and this has worked out so well for me this year. But once in a while, ever so rarely, I feel that lingering wave of a broken heart.

Genoa vs Juventus

2010-11-22T02:34:00.000+11:00

Great first half, dubious second, but we were better (and a bit lucky with Genoa hitting the woodwork.) 3 points in the bag, very happy, all went well.

Storari - made good saves when necessary

Motta - Other than that cross (?) to Quag which turned out to be an assist that led to the own goal, nothing much can be said

Bonucci - good game

Chiellini - good game (I thought our CBs were good today)

Grosso - woeful first half, slightly better in the second with his moment being the counter attack he set up. Still very limited player, we need a better replacement, he tends to draft to a CB's position when under attack which I do not like

Krasic - welcome back Milos!! Raped Criscito on that flank and scored a goal. Contender for MoTM

Melo - Brilliant as he has been this season (barring Roma) - what a character, that rollover he did towards the end was just plain hilarious, contender for MoTM

Aquilani - composed, eloquent, intelligent; he really offers so much to our midfield. Contender for MoTM

Marchisio - good game, but perhaps I am just not a fan of him on the left, I think we need someone more offensive, but given our current squad he is perhaps the best choice there

Quagliarella - industrious, did not do much as a striker per se but held up the ball well and made necessary passes, always a threat to Genoa's defence

Iaquinta - birthday boy was awful to watch today, very selfish, did almost nothing!

Sorensen - what a talented youngster, huge too, very big potential. Will surely, to me, edge Motta out to start for the team. Defensively very sound, very CB-like, but not great at possession play,. Totally OWNED Criscito.

Sissoko - was Sissoko.

Salihamidzic - didn't have much to do. It was nice seeing Krasic run to him when he scored the goal. Thanks for Krasic Brazzo, now get us Dzeko :)

Am a happy girl!

Remain

2010-11-21T13:42:00.000+11:00

“Ricordate quel 2-0 per la juve nel 2005, con l’inter incapace di uscire dalla sua metà campo e piegata sia in corsa sia in qualità, sia tecnicamente, sia tatticamente? A me viene il sospetto che l’unico fine di tutto quel macello fosse quello di smontare la squadra più forte del mondo”

Isn't this one of the most magnificent things you've read?

Will be home soon, mixed feelings - looking forward to seeing those I miss so much back there and a lot of other things, but will also leave a coupla over here. And summer, I've always loved summer.

There Goes My Baby

2010-11-15T02:15:00.000+11:00

Well, then I look at you and say
It's the happiest that I've ever been
And I'll say I no longer feel I have to be James Dean
And she'd say
Yeah well I feel pretty happy too
And I'm always pretty happy when I'm just kicking back with you

And though, if nearly all these moments are just in my head
I'll be thinking bout them as I'm lying in bed
And I know that none of it may really ever come true
But in my mind I'm havin a pretty good time with you

Oh in 5 years time
I might not know you
In 5 years time
We might not speak
Oh in 5 years time
We might not get along
In 5 years time
You might just prove me wrong

Juventus vs Roma

2010-11-14T14:16:00.000+11:00

Just some quick thoughts - I thought we did well given the circumstances. That 45th minute penalty for Roma changed things though, had that not happened I am more than sure we would've won comfortably. It was not our best performance, nor was it our worst, but we were the better team - still, these draws have to come to an end and we have to start winning again.

Storari - his good usual self, made one crucial save.

Sorensen - pleasant surprise! Totally schooled Motta. Only his second game at the senior level, but looked very composed. Good game.

Bonucci - not much to say, I think our defence did well today, so he must've been decent. Sorensen had to cover him on one occasion and he was obviously outshone by...

Chiellini - the MOTM! What a rock, legend. Absolutely stupendous. Even with a bleeding head he refused to leave the pitch under the referee's order, what a spirit!

Grosso - not very productive, not much contribution

Pepe - a close second MOTM, although he cost us that penalty by having his arm out, very good work rate throughout the game, put in decent crosses in and didn't stop running.

Melo - not a good game fom our beast tonight. Poor passing, was too elaborate at times.

Aquilani - was good in the first half, but ran out of engine come... 70th minute or so? Couldn't last being on fire the whole game, that quieted things down.

Marchisio - decent, had one good chance. The left is just not his forte.

Quagliarella - very good work rate as well

Iaquinta - quiet but WHAT A GOAL!

Traore - looked nervous as, but he just came back from injury - hope to see him improve much much more

Del Piero - our worst player of the night, sorry Ale

Amauri - waste of space

Also I've set up some Juve stuff:
twitter.com/juventinita
forzajuventus.tumblr.com

Hoping to contribute a bit more to society :)

Brescia vs Juventus

2010-11-11T08:45:00.000+11:00

Terribly uninspiring game from Juventus, they all looked dead, which is stupid really because Brescia - yes, they held the big teams thus far this season - is, well at least tonight, a relatively weak team, but Juve managed to appear even weaker and struggle, they just decided not to play football but put on some trashy inadequate passing display.

Which is stupid really, because Inter drew, Lazio lost/drew, Milan won (bah) - we SHOULD'VE taken an advantage, what more we might need it considering we're playing an on form roma this weekend.

Am really disgusted, thank god for Chiellini. Diamanti's goal was a gem but neither Motta nor Sissoko blocked him, Giorgio making the only effot, Sissoko fucking jogged to Diamanti - I've had enough of this guy -

UGH. I sometimes really wonder if these players have any sense of shame at all or are even aware of the fact that people wake up at 4, 5 and 6 am to watch them play some football, and that's the best they can do for the millions they get?

Now I just sound like a berating fan, but I think they deserved every criticism tonight.

Juventus vs Cesena

2010-11-08T19:15:00.000+11:00

We were utter shit at the start, Cesena got a lead that put our defenders to shame, Ale had to step up in the penalty box to equalize and thus lift the team - Pellegrino's red card made it a lot easier for us and we won 3-1 comfortably. Having said that, I still think we gave Cesena to much space than they ought to have even with 10 men down. Injury crisis is ubiquitous.

So, le pagelle (just felt like saying that, I don't actually rate the players)

Storari - good game

Motta - possibly our worst defender, he makes Grygera look like Zambrotta, so....

Sorensen - his debut, looked nervous as, more composed in the second half, also very huge. A decent debut I would say

Bonucci - I can't make my mind up about Bonucci. He's alright, maybe good, but a bit too fancy for my liking and is very suspect on one-on-one situations, easy to get past him

Grosso - won the ball that led to the 3rd goal, not as bad as I thought he would be considering he hasn't played since May. At least he tries

Pepe - good work rate, a lot of people say he's not good enough for a winger, can be predictable, but I like him, I think he can be useful

Marchisio - good game, clean, very nice assist

Aquilani - next to Krasic this is probably my favourite signing. He is SO composed with the ball, so poised. My Man of The Match

Sissoko - Probably our worst midfielder. His emu legs always render him imbalaced and he can't make any decent pass

Del Piero - hello Legend, thanks for taking us out of the rut early on :)

Quagliarella - scored again, very good work rate, probably the best partner for Ale. Thank god we have him and not just Iaq and Amauri

Melo - subbed on then off again, hope he's okay

Salihamidzic - Brazzo had a nice assist for the third goal today, decent in the few minutes he played

Iaquinta - nice goal from Vinny today, congratulations. It must suck to be Amauri right now

The end

Retour a Vega

2010-11-07T01:42:00.000+11:00

Hi

First of all I should be shot for not wishing Juventus a happy birthday here - been too busy with engineering but also, I have created my own Juventus tumblr (which Jani says is lame) - forzajuventus.tumblr.com , so I post pictures and videos there. But of course, when it comes to actually writing about Juve, I'll do it here.

Secondly, I am very worried that people will judge me for what I write here. Well I don't think I have any readers at all to begin with, but still, the worry is there.

Thirdly, fook it.

I think I have a communicating problem. I can really be myself and whine to only a certain number of people, and others may be disillusioned thinking I "talk" to them by telling them "intimate" things, but those things are actually quite superficial and mundane to me. I generally keep how I really, really feel to myself, and this, I attribute to my super huge ass ego. My sister's right, I am a great pretender. I could, in actual fact, get hurt by someone's comment and not feel like seeing them for a day but yet talk to them like they're the bestest friend I've ever had. I could have deeper feelings for a person but treat them like they're worth nothing more than... however I treat them. Contradictively (am I using this in the right context?) I could also pretend like I care for a person but in actual fact I don't really spare them a thought, but this rarely happens because it's not that I don't care, I do, but it's nature's way of moving on.

So, yeah, that's all. I don't know why it's hard for me to express myself to the person that matters. Let me give you an example. Say I have things to say or feel for person A. All I do is whine and talk to my other friend B, and never actually bring it up to A, and in front of A I'll just be his/her idea of 'me', when it's actually quite different, or act weird because that's what I do when I suppress things.

Anyway, it's really lonely here in Melbourne. I've no one to talk to, I mean I have friends and even that is debatable - everyone's left this country and I just don't even bother making new friends, I've no idea what's wrong with me this whole year. I feel like I'm a zombie just walking through life. But yes, I've no one to talk to or "be myself" with (god being yourself is so overrated, who knows who they really are anyway?) and sometimes that can be painful, I just found out it's Nadeera's last year in Australia so now I really have no one to talk to or call at random times about random things - shit, now I feel like crying - but - yeah - it's alright.

Amira's getting married in December. One of my best friends. So happy for her and Kev. Also fucking freaking out to be honest. But we'll worry about that for another time. I think I will tear up on her big day.

Juventus vs Salzburg

2010-11-05T12:26:00.000+11:00

With injuries abundant to the point where we've resorted to more than one Primavera player... you get the idea. Still, this was a vast contradiction to team who played against Milan, there was no heart, no effort. I am afraid the exit door to Europa is just getting wider for us. A snoozefest of a match, honestly felt very upset I woke up a 5 am for this display, it was simply not worth it.

(of course we Juve fans say these things but by this weekend we'd still lose sleep over them.)

Storari - probably our only good player that looked like he wanted to win.

Motta - good in going up but was practically NON EXISTENT as a RB. Out of position, all, the, time.

Legro - Okay (Salzburg did not really threaten us)

Bonucci - Okay, still a bit too fancy sometimes for my liking.

Pepe - Our best player tonight IMO

That Primavera Player I Cannot Remember, Lievo? - Decent. I don't expect anything from the Primavera. Difference in skill and quality were really obvious though with regards to these kids and the first team.

Marchisio - utility player, decent. Helped pass the ball nothing more or less.

Primavera Player Number Two, Giandonato? - Was invisible the whole time he was on, except for one good turn.

Sissoko - Getting worse. So frustrating to watch.

Krasic - Quiet game from him, went off with injury, Salzburg defenders got the better of him.

Del Piero - Was selfish but in this game when everyone is shit, I don't really care. One of his worse games. Still had the best and better chances for the team with one FK and an offside goal. Delivered bad FKs throughout the game.

Amauri - I've lost patience.

That is all.

Heartbreak Warfare

2010-10-27T12:02:00.000+11:00

Whazzup jigaboo? (No I don't talk like this in real life.)

So. Pa has sort of gotten me a job with Gamuda (am very grateful.) The only snag is that most likely I would have to work on-site for the project, and that could be anywhere between Ipoh-Butterworth. Therefore this means my holiday, if I do take up the job and I think I will, is not actually a holiday and God knows what I will do being stuck outside KL on weekdays not knowing anyone.

You see, it is not working on-site that frustrates me. When I received the email the first thing I felt was... panic. Yes, this job is just a one-off thing, it is not like I would be tied to it for a lengthy period.

But the thing is, I was watching an old HIMYM episode (yes, I use TV shows as guidance in living this life, ha) - and Lily was having qualms about getting married, because she never got to live her dreams or do what she wanted - be a painter, and travel, and, um, have a lesbian experience.

I was so determined that I would get to do what I wanted, that I wouldn't "fall into the system", I had such big dreams but NONE if it worked out for me. I did not go to that university in UK. I did not travel all around Europe. I didn't know what I wanted to do, but never once in my life did I think civil engineering was even an option - and all these decisions are made by me so it's not anyone's fault. I can't explain every single one of them - how I ended up in Melbourne doing civil engineering, it was just how life worked out for me at that moment.

And no matter how I said, this course/degree will just be a fallback, I WILL pursue what I want once I graduate (if I ever get to figure out what that is) - I just don't think it will end up being that way either. For all that I've said, here I am, actually taking up a civil engineering job. I am on that path everyone was on, I could see it now, after I graduate I'd take up a boring office job, probably meet a man, have kids, be a middle-class family with a steady and sufficient but not extravagant income, and... that would be it.

I won't get to travel for lengthy periods. I won't get to stay and work as a waitress or whatever in Italy for a year and pick up the language. I won't get to do or work with Juventus, yes you can laugh all you want here, but they remain my greatest passion in life. I won't get to be a free spirit, I will just be another rigid Asian where it's all just about grades and money.

And then I spoke to Winston and Shin, and both convinced me to take up the job and prove everyone wrong by surviving it - also, I owe this much to my parents. I think it just scares me that the reality of life and growing up is that things aren't easy. If you want life to work out the way you want it to, you have to work, and I mean, really work for it. All you idiots who take this phrase at face value should spend more time in thinking what this actually means. And what I fear most is that I'm not cut out for it, that I'm too pampered and would give up too easily on my dreams and settle for mediocrity, or I'm not cut throat enough to just simply survive in this world.

Plus, I don't EVER hear any of my friends complaining about their jobs, it was just another thing for them to do - and it makes me question whether it is me who's wired wrongly, whether I am too ungrateful, or wanting too much from this life to the point of idealism.

But anyway, one step at a time - I'll just take that job, it won't kill me, and I am sure the experience will be priceless. Everything else, I could worry about later.

IN OTHER NEWS I HATE THE FIGC. THEY'VE ONLY BANNED 4 PLAYERS (1 CLEAR) FOR DIVING. And another one HAD to be Krasic just a few days before the Milan clash! Plus what sort of bullshit ruling is this anyway, if a referee sees a dive that's a yellow if they don't it's a two match ban?? UGHHHH

Grazie Per Tutti i Gol, Alex

2010-10-19T11:19:00.000+11:00

"Carry on this way. Teach your young teammates what Juventus is. Explain to them the pride of wearing this shirt, what being hungry for victory is" - Boniperti to Del Piero, who matched his goal tally for Juve's leading Serie A top scorer against Lecce.

Whatever your opinion of Del Piero the player, a forward who has probably been overvalued and under appreciated in equal quantities, it is his Juventinità which allows him to compete with Boniperti in the annals of history. In Ale’s world, much like in that of Boniperti’s, the Turin giants are not simply a football club – for him, Juve are yesterday, today and, significantly, tomorrow.

At the Hop

2010-10-19T10:23:00.000+11:00

Happy birthday Nans :)

Hello,

Did my 100km ride over the weekend, alhamdulillah, felt relieved when I crossed the line. Thank you to all well wishers, reminds me of the great people I have in this life, these small gestures mean a lot to me.

Have been feeling out of sorts lately. I've really no idea why and I feel like I've relapsed into some of my old habits, being all anti social and cooped up in the house, and I try to sleep my sorrows away. Which is not cool, because I miss being what I was not too long ago, when I would be up and about from morning til night, and managed to get a good, satisfying night sleep. Even at home I used to at least enjoy watching the telly or reading, these days it's just ... I don't know, I feel completely blank. The only time I felt somewhat empowered or released from all that I feel was shackling me was when I was on that road, on that bike.

I feel a stronger affection for Scottie after the weekend's ride, I may daydream and checkout other high end bicycles, but I don't think I'm ever willing to sell him.

But it's time for a change, I'm determined to pick things up again. Hopefully those good things will be coming my away again, as it did recently. I'm ready now. :)

Breathe Me

2010-10-14T00:06:00.000+11:00

Warm me up
And breathe me

Santa Monica Dream

2010-10-08T20:03:00.001+11:00

I missed out on Big Day Out tickets (ticketmaster lagged) - but no matter, I'm willing to go to great lengths just to see Rammstein, no need to justify my love for them here.

Finally submitted my hydraulics assignment so I thought I'd treat myself to something - even the holiday back home wasn't really a holiday - so went out with Abe, Aiman and Sayf last night. It's pretty sad what engineering has done to us, or me at least, the coursework is both mentally and physically extolling. But these guys look like they're made for it, and they know what they're doing - I sometimes get so depressed over the fact that even after 3 years, I don't really understand or know anything about civil engineering at all, and it is pathetic that I try to just surmount the difficulties or rather get through the course than excel at it. Maybe I am still a bit too lazy, but I have really conceded the fact that I am not made for this - it's no one's fault, I chose this (for lack of better options), but I sincerely hope one day I would be able to do something I'm actually good at - I may not have to love it, but it would be nice to be good at something.

Well work's going to get crazy until exams are over. At the lab today we teased a friend and fellow coursemate about dating, and he said, "seriously, I don't think I will get a girlfriend until I graduate, I've decided this." At which point I was surprised by that fact because despite my layers of excuse and psychobabble bullshit, that very same thought has crossed my mind countless times - that we simply have no time for these things.

Anyhoots, that's what life's like in Melbourne now, work, and I get to de-stress occasionally. It can be quite depressing, but on other days this workload provides a good distraction, gives me a reason to keep busy.

Part Of The List

2010-10-06T23:25:00.000+11:00

When will I ever get out of this rut?

Anyway, Joshua Jong paid a visit to Melbourne, it was nice meeting his family, and him of course, it has been too long. Life works in funny ways doesn't it, he is now dating our mutual friend/classmate, after all this while and all those jokes we cracked ...

Often I wish I could simply reconnect with old friends, how distance and time have changed all of us and I would love to share with them these changes, but it's impossible.

That would be all. This was another attempt at writing out what I really wanted to, as you can see I've failed but I've been struggling for half a year now. Maybe my batteries have powered down, like Doraemon's. Okay this was a reference to the final page of the Doraemon manga, you guys should read it, for your childhood's sake.

Positivity

2010-10-05T13:53:00.003+11:00

(from rintisimages.blogspot.com)

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

this poem is somewhat of an inside joke, or rather something personal I shared with my sister who recently got married, a few years back I jokingly said I would read this at her wedding if she gets married - I didn't (in fact I screwed up royally) - but I still want to put it somewhere to commemorate the birth of her new life, and this family's.

doesn't she look beautiful? :)

Manchester City vs Juventus

2010-10-01T21:03:00.000+10:00

Super quick review:

Manninger: Made some vital saves

Grygera: Solid game

Bonucci: Solid game with Chiello

Chiellini: Very, very solid

De Ceglie: I thought he had a good game but absolutely FUCKED it up by not reading Johnson's run ... ah! Provided some good crosses

Krasic: Outplayed, heavily marked, credit to City defenders

Sissoko: Absolute ninja in midfield, one of his best, still needs to improve on his passing though

Marchisio: Thought he was rather invisible, looked unsure - didn't really defend a la Sissoko nor offered anything in attack

Martinez: Back tracked to help with defense but offered nothing more. Just came back from injury, lack of match fitness

Del Piero: Ale lacks pace, did not offer much creatively but is always there for the set pieces - would've probably needed someone more powerful but we had no choice, still, offered the best chance in the game, and undoubtedly incomparable technique

Iaquinta: Good goal, should've passed towards the end!

SUBS

Motta: Did alright with the defense, held up until the final whistle

Melo: Our best midfielder along with Krasic this season, did more in 15 minutes than Marchisio did the whole game

Pepe: Not too sure what to say, just seemed like no one passed to him even when he was unmarked

Comment:

Our defense held up well in this game, and that's shocking. Still we conceded a goal we shouldn't have, it was very soft, at that point our defense was getting shaky and losing concentration. Great first 25 minutes up until Vinny's goal, did not understand why Juve sat back and too deep and let City come at them. But I take heart, even with 9 men defending, we did not concede more. Should've gotten 2 penalties from Krasic (referee's a fucking idiot) and could've won if the ball had crossed the line when the ball hit the crossbar from Ale's freekick. Still, this was on paper our toughest fixture, and a draw away is not bad.

However, we MUST win all the remaining games. Missed Aquilani and Quagliarella terribly. Thumbs down for cup tied rules.

Two Dancers

2010-09-30T17:16:00.000+10:00

It was no one's birthday, we just wanted cake, and had some candles.

I really admire people who are independent, tell me your secret.

Juventus vs Cagliari

2010-09-27T14:44:00.000+10:00

Happy that we won, not good enough if we want to win vs both City and Inter this week. Reviews:

Storari - provided some good/vital saves, shaky with corners and set pieces, hesitant.

Rinaudo - out of position. All, the, time.

Bonucci - cost us a goal, so upset with his inability to form a fearful partnership with Chiellini that I forgot he took credit for a messy goal.

Chiellini - cost us the same goal. Centrebacks were not alert, what a waste.

Grygera - solid game.

Krasic - HATTRICK. BRILLIANT, ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT, SIMPLY SUBLIME, SUCH A PLEASURE TO WATCH!

Melo - solid, although gave away some balls.

Aquilani - good game, very neat, composed.

Pepe - good working rate, assisted in the goals.

Amauri - good effort, looked slightly sharp but lacks something not sure what - maybe he's just not my idea of an ideal striker, get well soon.

Iaquinta - rubbish, a waste of space tonight.

SUBS

Legrottaglie - conceded a stupid goal.

Sissoko - average, wacky as ever; boy needs to learn to make neat passes.

Del Piero - did what he was supposed to do, stirred up some trouble up front.

* * *

Our defence will be our undoing this season. If it's not the fullbacks it's the centrebacks. As a unit we are badly organized. The midfield has a lot of potential, goal scoring is not a problem despite the fact that none of our strikers are world class finishers, a fact I am SO frustrated with seeing as poachers are my favourite kind of footballers. We really need to get our shit together in defence and work as a fully functioning organization. Did not understand Del Neri's subs - changing the look of the defence at the end (although Rinaudo was probably hurt), and letting Krasic stay on when he scored a hattrick and we have a comfortable lead with few minutes to go with City and Inter coming up was very risky. Would also love to see some minutes for Martinez.

Heart-Shaped Glasses

2010-09-23T02:49:00.000+10:00

Ramblings (each on a different subject matter) -

You mean the world to me, and I never want to lose you. And I mean ever. I hope one day you'll be able to forgive me.

Learned to never do anything for the fucks of it ever again, it is just not for me. I am no hero.

Feeling so free and caged at the same time. Hoping one day something would come by and release me from my inhibitions, as it has done countless times before.

Reaching a weird level of serenity on some things.

I really do enjoy chinese opera :)

Next Lifetime

2010-09-22T13:36:00.000+10:00

Now what am I supposed to do
When I want you in my world
How can I want you for myself
When I'm already someone's girl
I guess I'll see you next lifetime

“This Reversal of Truth is Shameful”- Juventus, Calciopoli, and where we stand today

2010-09-21T02:11:00.000+10:00

from Anthony at Beyond the Pitch - worthy read, even if you are not a Juventus/Serie A/football fan, it's good to know what goes on:

It may take the FIGC three years to transcribe all 170,000 wiretaps collected from the Napoli tribunal looking yet again into the dealings of Luciano Moggi while he was the general manager of Juventus, but what's at stake may be the truth behind the greatest heist in Serie A history.

"With the utmost respect for the legal proceedings currently in progress, Juventus will carefully evaluate with its lawyers the relevance of new evidence. We wish to guarantee, both in the sporting and non-sporting jurisdictions, the most accurate protection of its history and its fans. Juventus trust that the institutions and justice system will know how to ensure equal treatment for all, which is what the club and its defence lawyers asked for during the trial of 2006."
- The Official Club Statement by Juventus

"Either everyone was guilty or everyone was innocent."
- Luciano Moggi, the controversial and unconventional managing director at Juventus

There are idealists, there are realists - and then there are always opportunists. We are still too mired in the revelations to put all the pieces together and truly understand what really happened in the years leading up to 2006 ... or to fully grasp that the Full Sense of this "national disgrace" and what sporting historians will forever refer to as "Calciopoli" will surface not so much from the content of these wiretaps or even from the result of Luciano Moggi's civil case in Napoli - but more from who really seized the advantage during this period of chaos in World Football's order of things.

Well ... the whole thing has been tossed on its ear from here going forward; it ended this week with all the pomp and pleasure of a doggie obedience school graduation ceremony - erupting once the treats were introduced and scaring the heck out of anyone in range, from those who got just a little too close to the bitching and biting to the collection of "innocent bystanders" who still can't imagine what happened.

And more than likely never will: there is a shrill, empty, tragically spent feeling about this entire affair. Deep within football punditry today is the stench of a monumental battle of wits and purpose that nobody really won, relying more on innuendo and tribal loyalties than actual fact. The gig is up, as they say. And Massimo Moratti has been finally exposed and castrated all at once, but even for the true believers in the Italian Game there is no sudden spark or rank elation in having been proven correct at long last ... starting with the Grand Dumbing-Down of a nation's entire legal system, and which in turn could lead to a big club owner and president being chased out of office with pitchforks and lanterns and cast down into the gutter with the rest of the freaks and common crooks.

"The wiretaps we discovered recently are among 171,000 made by the police and investigators, but they were never transcribed or put into a pattern of evidence. They were never used as evidence in the Calciopoli trial and anyone saying they were is peddling misinformation."
- Maurilio Prioreschi, attorney and key figure in Moggi's defence team.

Looking back at the events of this farce, it is easy to see how Calciopoli was a doomed exercise all along ... or at least from that very moment once former FIGC Commissioner Guido Rossi - a former Telecom Italia (TIM) and FC Internazionale Vice President - unilaterally declared that "contacting a referee designator" was an infraction that could invoke jurisprudence; and therefore, punish a team as if it was attempting to fix a match, even while his friend and business associate Massimo Moratti himself was engaging in this very activity, albeit this was withheld from the court for almost five years. . . . And then the curious matter of Lieutenant Colonel Attilio Auricchio popped up, the authority who was the operational arm of the Naples prosecutor in 2006 and who also arrived on the witness stand with his own outstanding evidence tampering charge from an early 1990s Mayoral Election in Rome. Auricchio was grilled during an intense cross examination which illustrated to the court that "evidence might have been handled in the interest of intentionally depicting Moggi, (Antonio) Giraudo and (Roberto) Bettega as criminal," thus eliminating the possibility of a fair trial in the first place.

Ho, ho, ho ... perhaps something was overlooked?

A boatload of events have been overlooked, in fact. Cast against a vast Technicolor landscape of shady operators - such as Roman Abramovich, who through a tangled web of serious friends gained his fortune from the demise of the state; Silvio Berlusconi, who has been under trial for tax evasion and fraud without mentioning his likely ties to the Mafia; and Thaksin Shinawatra, who was deposed in a military coup and tried in absentia for selling national assets to international investors and human rights offenses - enters the intelligent and seemingly reclusive Massimo Moratti. The same Moratti, who as CEO of Saras S.p.A. went into a joint venture with Enron which was later acquired wholly but remains under investigation against persons unknown on a bid for Public Sale and Exchange in advance of the company's listing on the Milan Stock Exchange.

Of course, Moratti isn't the only high-stakes operator who knows how to work the seams and blind spots in the system. Italy has one of the lowest levels of press freedom and among the highest levels of press manipulation in Europe and which would helped Moratti on a number of fronts, both in terms of controlling the message and quashing dissent.

That his crosstown rival, Prime Minister Berlusconi, has maintained an almost airtight control over the media through Mediaset and RAI - and has been considered a "Predator of Press Freedom" by Reporters Without Borders, an organization that consults the United Nations in the matter of press freedom - further defines the level to which conflicting interests could feast upon an exploitable press which existed during the original Calciopoli trials and endures even today.

There were absurd accusations that Moggi had either bribed or locked referees in closets and that members of the Juventus hierarchy were personally handing over the keys to exotic cars to referees on the take - all of which became an entirely sensational series of tales tossed about in an attempt to sell tabloids both within Italy and abroad, yet remained unchallenged until these allegations were tossed out by the Court.

So within days of referee designator Bergamo admitting that he had dinner with Moratti only more questions have been raised, and many are surprised to learn that nobody was ever convicted of fixing a match. Nor are they likely to be at this point given the controversial nature of the evidence, even while looking dead into the cadaver of a criminal conspiracy, simply because stoppage time has been exhausted - meaning, the clock has been run out on the Statute of Limitations and there's no Fergie time.

"I make my accusers look ridiculous and to show everyone what stuff they are made of and what stuff I am made of."
- Silvio Berlusconi, Italian Prime Minister

Yes, this is a constitutional democracy with its own interpretation of due process, free elections and its own propaganda, as is the case in most Western countries. But what is most peculiar about the Italian model is that its leader is also the owner of four private TV networks and that he, being the Prime Minister, wields great influence on its public TV stations. But do Italians care about the possible manipulation of public opinion or even know the difference? It doesn't seem so. But what the Prime Minister and his vast array of media holdings have created is an almost bizarre form of populism: Where murky situations between the worlds of sport, politics, entertainment and business are accepted and often collide, serving as the canvas upon which Calciopoli was born and allowed to thrive.

The possibility that some of the Supreme Court justices - who The Big Guy himself has railed as "mentally disturbed" and "anthropologically different from the rest of the human race" - might not be so quick to endorse even a shred of immunity for a Prime Minister that runs counter-intuitive to the Italian Constitution or plain common sense is water under the bridge at this point. Independent observers sense that any connection Berlusconi had in this scandal, once amplified by a European tabloid press and already weakened by an ebb and flow of sex scandals, could have far reaching ramifications on the Italian political system itself.

It is still almost impossible to believe, looking at it now, that some of the closest allies and supporters to any Prime Minister of a Constitutional Democracy may actually expect the highest court in its land to uphold what is surely the most discredited precedence in the history of Western legal thought - the unassailable notion that a head of state can never be wrong because he's the head of state - doesn't even pass the Richard Nixon litmus test on political desperation. Even so, the Italian public hasn’t yet registered a ripple of disapproval.

"One of the main points of the prosecution, that [Luciano] Moggi was the head of this organization, has crumbled because so many different [club] directors would call up the [referee] designators. Moggi has a 30-year friendship with Bergamo and the fact he was among those who rang him up cannot be considered evidence of wrongdoing. It’s not up to me to say, but in the light of what has since emerged, I think there is room not just for a procedural change of position, but also a moral one."
- Paolo Trofino, Moggi's attorney in the Napoli civil case.

Indeed. But one should keep in mind that "moral" is a rather flexible term within the world of professional sports these days. With the savage tentacles of "Calciopoli" ready to wrap themselves around almost any living organism in an instant and, given the startling connections between Telecom Italia, the FIGC, theGazzetta dello Sport (known as "Gazetta dello Inter" by rival news organizations and fan groups) and Massimo Moratti, perhaps Trofino had composed his eminently reasonable legal defense knowing just how "uncomfortable" his words would become once released in print.

One of the most extraordinary aspects of the Calciopoli story has been the way not only the Italian but also the World Press has handled it: What started in 2005 as one of the most sensationalized cases of "match-fixing" has clearly developed into what is among the most thoroughly unprofessional covered stories in the history of sports journalism - devoid of thought, reflection, analysis or context. Because to understand what Calciopoli means in the larger picture is to return to its suspicious beginning when former Inter legend Giacinto Facchetti was president of the club (2004-2006) and Gazetta dello Sport, owned by FC Internazionale's Vice President Carlo Buora, acquired transcripts of a series of telephone conversations between Moggi and a number of figures inside Italian football. These tapes, it was later discovered, had been recorded by Telecom Italia and involved not only Moggi but also other officials at rival clubs (Milan, Fiorentina and Lazio) nearly two years prior to the actual Calciopoli allegations. Giuliano Tavaroli, then Head of Security at Telecom Italia (TIM), would be later arrested on charges related to Law 231 for having sold wiretaps of private calls and subsequently admitted that Inter's Massimo Moratti was one of his clients ... yet, even after these so-called "shocking details" were sent to magistrates in Turin, Rome and Naples it was soon determined that no incriminating evidence existed and no action was taken.

"The rules do not ban dinners and a rapport with everyone. After all, the telephone was registered to the Federation. We had a rapport with the clubs also to understand how everyone was feeling about the season. In 2004 I decided to resign. My wife and I invited the club representatives to dinner in Livorno, one by one, from Milan to Inter and Juventus. [Then Inter President] Facchetti accepted the invite and I had dinner with him. There was no dinner with Adriano Galliani because at the time he was President and a candidate to the Lega Calcio position, so he felt it inopportune to take part in this meeting."
- Former referee designator Paolo Bergamo, April 13, 2010

The sole piece of real action in the "Calciopoli" saga was already a done deal - once the original transcripts had been handed over to the Italian authorities for review. The decision to not pursue had happened so quickly that there wasn't even a still photographer to capture the event, much less a swarm of video cameras whose images were destined for the late night news.

And network news divisions are not exactly waiting with baited breath for stories that involve months of dreary investigation and minimal camera time - particularly in that period of time when every major Italian TV correspondent was busy following their real boss, the Prime Minister, as he went on the offensive against any number of scandals or instances of diplomatic outrage by his very comments and hand gestures at members of the European Parliament, comparing the German delegate to a concentration camp Kapo (an inmate appointed as supervisor) and telling investors on Wall Street that doing business in Italy was a smart thing to do because his country had "the most beautiful secretaries in the world." These were great days to be in the news business in Italy and the networks had their top correspondents following Berlusconi's every move. So by the time the initial wiretaps had been tossed out by the court, "Calciopoli" would have been considered an old story and barely newsworthy even if it hadn't turned out to be dead-on-arrival.

"Unless there are some sudden turnarounds, I have already chosen the linesmen for you. We’re sending you Pisacreta, who for us is the number one, and Griselli who has been the number one this season, so you’re completely protected. Come on now, we can do it."
- Referee designator Paolo Bergamo on May 12, 2005 speaking to Luciano Spalletti when he was manager of Udinese on wiretaps.

There may not be much difference between Milanisti and Interisti; many have made this argument - some with considerable venom and disdain, in fact - since the scandals had first broke ... but only a coma patient could detect the differences that exist between Silvio Berlusconi and Massimo Moratti. Naturally, these are wildly successful and driven men who have amassed personal fortunes beyond the horizons of greed; and both are extremely ruthless - but the similarities end right there. From that point on the differences are so vast that anyone who can't detect how each of these men operate deserves whatever happens to The Beautiful Game - and organized sport, in general - should Moggi's civil trial dissolve into an abyss of stupidity, apathy or laziness on the part of those covering the story.

Berlusconi is a hyperventilating form of megalomaniac who first consolidates his power and then strikes back at his adversaries with the grace and precision of a thousand steamrollers powered by nitrous oxide ... he loves the overkill and craves the circus of publicity that it delivers to his nation's TV screens. During the years when "Calciopoli" first broke the Prime Minister had the country in the palm of his hand, tossing down firebombs and crap-storms on friends and foe alike - all the while saddled up next to George Bush and Tony Blair on a bizarre rampage in the Iraqi desert searching for WMD, knee-deep in some deviant form of a Sergio Leone-style Spaghetti Western - but most of that Good Will is gone now and he could never bring it back if he tried.

Moratti, on the other hand, is far more precise and contemplative - but equally treacherous - the type of modern power broker who will employ an army of hard-nosed super-executives who could project manage a Ponzi scheme in their sleep for effect, but would turn on each other like crazed rats in a dumpster fire at the first sign of trouble. He plays deep in the shadows blurring the lines between personal and economic vendettas that get played out in boardrooms and in the fine print of The Wall Street Journal. Even his worst enemies know to lay low while the attorneys and investigators pick over the carcass.

So it should come as little surprise that when his first attempt had failed, Moratti turned to an even more reliable weapon of choice by publishing many of these same transcripts in the media - namely - through the Gazzetta dello Sport which is still operated by RCS MediaGroup ... and it should come as no surprise that a familiar name, Inter's VP Carlo Buora, sat on its board along with that of Pirelli's (Inter's shirt sponsor) before he was appointed as Executive Vice President of Telecom Italia, where the wiretaps had originated in the first place.

"With regards to the Scudetto that was given to Inter on the table, I said it in times when there was no suspicions, it was a grave political sports error by Guido Rossi. I am sure that if the judges in 2006 had this evidence then their decisions would have been different."
- Former FIGC president Franco Carraro, April 12, 2010

That turned out to be Act One in this plot. Act Two ramped up rather quickly as the media frenzy arrived predictably and the FIGC, the Italian Football Federation, was at this point forced to open an investigation. As an important sidebar - which would become even more significant as the bulls-eye fell upon Juventus, then President of the FIGC, Adriano Galliani of AC Milan, was forced to resign because of the club's possible involvement in the evolving scandal and Guido Rossi - a major shareholder in Internazionale, close friend of Moratti and former director of Inter (1995-99) - would chair the commission on Calciopoli. A certain Massimo Moratti also serves on the board of Telecom Italia (TIM) alongside his friend Buora. But the suspicious ties don't end there: Marco Tronchetti Provera, Inter's second largest shareholder to Moratti himself is also the owner of Pirelli, the company that owns TIM (Serie A's main sponsor), and shirt sponsor for Inter.

Act Three - in the event that you haven't already worked out the details in your head - led to Juve's massive point deduction, a mass exodus of many of its best players, were stripped of two Scudetti that were handed to Inter and then relegation to Serie B. Moggi, Giraudo and Bettega never had a chance when their day in court came calling.

Simply put, Telecom Italia (TIM), Pirelli, Gazzetta dello Sport, FC Internazionale Milano and the governing body in control of the investigation were all being directed by the same cast of characters without the phrase - conflict of interest - ever being raised.

After the three week trial, Rossi subsequently resigned from his post as the President of the FIGC to become President of Telecom Italia (TIM) - the company that hand delivered the two-year old transcripts to Gazzetta dello Sport after they had already been tossed out by an Italian court - where he rejoined the familiar figure of Carlo Buora. Giacinto Facchetti's tenure as Inter's president drew to a close upon his death in 2006 and Massimo Moratti was returned to Inter's throne just in time to collect Juve's reassigned scudetti even though not one person has ever been convicted of match-fixing.

"Given the position that I occupy, I cannot consider it opportune to say anything. But I repeat what I already said on more than one occasion. It's obvious that those Scudetti were won on the pitch."
- Fabio Capello, former manager of Juventus who lost two Serie A titles from the Calciopoli trial.

The only people that have spoken publicly about the dire consequences of this resurfacing iceberg right now are those who can't avoid the obvious - Moggi, his defense team and a handful of Juventus loyalists hoping against hope to restore the club's "stolen" titles. Rossi and Buora have remained strangely silent, while Galliani babbles on about nonsense and Moratti hoards his energy for beating back personal attacks leveled at him through the Italian press.

The slow and simmering truth of "Calciopoli" is not that it might grind up a few key power players in Italian football and lead to the reluctant indictment of a vengeful, high-powered thug of a club president whose entire career has been a monument to the same form of cheap shots and deception that he finally got whacked for, but that the rest of the sporting world may fail to learn some valuable lessons from it.

Even now - with the FIGC receiving a mountain of wiretaps and faced with the daunting task of sifting through these intercepts in order to put the contents to paper - there is a groundswell of public opinion that believes whatever Moggi or Juventus may have done, it is probably no worse that what other clubs and their officials have being doing all along, and probably still do.

Anybody with half a brain to damage knows this is not true; but most people seem to think otherwise, even though this raw number of wiretaps is very difficult to ignore. What almost happened here was a 1980's-style hostile takeover and near destruction of Serie A as it was once known - and perhaps it is being saved by one its darkest figures in Luciano Moggi - not unlike what Jose Canseco did to Major League Baseball with his tell-all revelations on performance enhancing drugs, the league's silent endorsement of their use, the MLB player union's willingness to use testing as a bargaining chip and concealing the names and, which led inexorably, to an erosion of the public trust. That it came down to this and resurfaced again just before the 2010 World Cup is remarkable; that it took nearly four more years to unravel: how a ruthless gang of cold-blooded industry leaders and con-artists on the take, so bent on running a national treasure into the ground for the mere sake of tasting a success that had long eluded them and couldn't even take the time to cover up their tracks ... which seems to explain, among many other things, why Italian football really found itself in decline and why most of the footballing world is regarded as a truly corrupt enterprise even when nobody was judged guilty of a crime.

"This Reversal of Truth Is Shameful."
- Massimo Moratti, owner and President of FC Internazionale Milano.

Udinese vs Juventus

2010-09-20T18:33:00.000+10:00

Too busy to write a match review (technically I watched this game twice), but this is what happiness feels like. Am very happy to be home too. :)

Chinese Translation

2010-09-16T04:43:00.000+10:00

I think my internet has slowed down. How am I supposed to stream Juve's European game tomorrow?

It's going to be a super busy week. I have two submissions due Friday, one on Monday, some script writing and dressing up to do for Friday's ball (which I am emceeing alone), Nisa's birthday to celebrate and just a general celebration for the coming spring break, some last minute shopping to do, the house to clean (major cleaning required), and of course a flight to catch. I'm probably gonna fall into a deep slumber in the aeroplane.

In the meantime, here are some photos from last month's German dinner. Hang in there civil engineers, we will get through this week just fine.

(Yes I know it's boring that I don't have a life outside uni now but I will prevail....)

Anthem For a Seventeen Year-Old Girl

2010-09-14T23:38:00.000+10:00

what is it that's holding me back from so many things?

Juventus vs Sampdoria

2010-09-13T01:18:00.002+10:00

Quick review after a heart pumping match.

Storari: one fantastic save, I feel he is a mediocre keeper though and we would be better off with Manninger.

Motta: cost us a victory, utter garbage, raped by Sampdoria.

Chiellini: best defender among all but that's not saying much because everyone else is shit. He needs to improve and get back to what he once was.

Bonucci: lacks concentration.

De Ceglie: I think he has improved tremendously in this game in terms of technique but is still a shit left back.

Krasic: a little piece of Nedved we get to keep. Absolutely BRILLIANT. Such a joy to watch. Love.

Melo: Beast. Made a few costly mistakes, but otherwise commanded the midfield.

Marchisio: other than his goal, was invisible. Buckle up Claudio.

Pepe: Very effective. Killed the wings together with Krasic. Love.

Del Piero: terrible. Can't keep up with the pace. Only there for his godly set pieces. Shouldn't start.

Quag: selfish, but a lot of room for improvement, could potentially be useful.

Aquilani & Iaq: played for 10 minutes, not much to say.

Del Neri: left subs too late, switching to 433 and taking BOTH pepe and krasic off was very puzzling... unless they were tired/injured, that was not wise.

Juventus - rudimentary errors in defence cost us a great deal, this cannot continue any longer. However we created a lot of chances, Krasic - Melo - Pepe breathing a new life. We lack a poacher and don't understand why Del Piero and Quag both played like a SS. BEST NEWS is that we fought, actually fought, in this game and we were enthusiastic. Overall, I am pleased.

ps - crazy Serie A week, this one.

pps - hello Pavel, it was so nice seeing you in the stadium where you belong... we miss you.

17 Years with Del Piero

2010-09-12T13:37:00.000+10:00

17 years have passed since my debut in Serie A in a Juventus jersey.
Here are 17 reasons to celebrate this “birthday”, 17 reasons (chosen from a thousand others) that make it worth being part of this long history.

17) To put on a black and white jersey for the first time, a real one and not the one bought at the market stall...

16) To put it on for the second, third, fourth, six hundred thirty seventh time and...

15)To listen to the fans cheering :"I'll never get tired of you, I'll be always by your side, you are the most beautiful thing that exists… Alessandro Del Piero olè" (the music of “La Stangata” soundtrack, words written by the Juventus die-hard supporters).

14) For the anger, for tears. After a defeat, after an injury. After "the injury": the 8th of November 1998. It has changed me, it has improved me.

13) To experienced in the first person the following conversation: "Good morning Alessandro, how are you? Are you awake?". "No. To tell you the truth I was sleeping". "Good, then it's time for you to wake up." It was six o'clock in the morning and the person who called was Avvocato.

12) To follow with my eyes the long distance kick from Alessandro Orlando, then, stop watching it and instinctively go for it kick it with my right foot and place it under seven o'clock position, over the goal keeper: the 4th of December 1994, from 0-2 to 3-2, with my goal that triggered the recovery.

11) To score the goal that was worth the Champions of the World for football club title: the 26th of November 1996, in Tokyo, 1-0, at the 82nd minute against River Plate.

10) For my jersey. I earned it hard. I've never left it. My name is on it, only mine, since the time named jerseys exist... I came at the right moment!

9) To play with Antonio, Gianluca, Roberto, Moreno, Fabrizio, Michelangelo, Ciro, Angelo, Giancarlo, Andrea, Dino, Sergio, Jurgen, Paulo, Didier, Zinedine, Filippo, David, Nicola, Massimo, Alessio, Luca, Vladimir, Attilio, Pietro, Christian, Alen, Raffaele, Michele, Edgar, Fabio, Zlatan, Puma, Patrick, Manuel, Mauro, Marcelo, Mark, Igor, Lilian, Gigi, Pavel, Paolo, Stephen, Claudio, Jonathan, Emanuele, Giorgio, Diego, Ama, Cristiano, Alexander, Hasan, Zdenek, Vincenzo, Cristian, Momo, Sebastian, Alberto, Simone and all the others...

8) For the 5th of May 2002.

7) For 29 scudetti.

6) For all the Cups.

5) To score the goal number 200 with Juventus. To score it against Frosinone. And to be proud to have scored against Frosinone in Serie B.

4) For Gaetano Scirea, for all he means, for Juventus and for those who love football.

3) For Giampiero Boniperti, for what he represents, for Juventus and for me.

2) For the reason of never forgetting my roots. And thanks to whom I got to this point.

1) For the yesterday and today Juventus. Above all for the Juventus of tomorrow.

Alessandro

Stop and Stare

2010-09-12T04:07:00.000+10:00

Quick/short 4 am rants/thoughts that will be deleted when I wake up in the morning... maybe.

1. I feel depressed enough as it is having to stay home and do work on weeknights let alone weekends. I'm not blowing any of you off because I want to, it's because I have to, so please don't make me feel any worse than I already do.

2. This could be one of my busiest weeks in uni history with all the assignments due. Add to that the fact that I have to emcee for the ball on Friday, and will be flying off to KL on Saturday night - when will I get some relaxed me time?

3. Juventus vs Samp tomorrow, will be very upset if they lose.

4. I can get upset over the smallest of things, but some things are just not easy on the ears, or maybe it's just simple truth that I refuse to acknowledge or would rather not hear, it ain't always pretty.

5. I make certain decisions late at night, like now, but when I wake up the next morning, I never change.

Don't Turn The Lights On

2010-09-09T18:08:00.000+10:00

So simple and profound, and so true. What a great man you are, will be sorely missed, legend. (I now feel utterly and unequivocally depressed at the thought of those who have left Juventus recently, namely Nedved, Trezeguet and Camoranesi).

“I will always be a Juventus fan,” Trezeguet told La Gazzetta dello Sport. “Actually, the day in which Juve win the Scudetto, I will go to Turin and ask the Agnellis to invent a shirt with the third star. And I will be the first to wear it.

“The two titles they took away from us were a sensational injustice. I think that. Those who love Juve think that. But I am convinced that some of the Inter players who I have spoken to also think that.

“Go and look back at the footage of those seasons. Go and look back at our goals. There weren’t any tricks. The only trick is that we were the strongest.

“The latest Juve starts again from zero. It’s a courageous decision. But you need courage to tell the Juventus fans that it will take a little time to get back to being the team to beat.

“As a friend of Juventus, I think that it would be wonderful to get back in the Champions League and focus on the Europa League this season.

“It would be a season worth 10 out of 10. The Scudetto is down to Inter and Milan. But let’s get back to my Juve. It’s wonderful to see Andrea Agnelli as President.

“I grew up under the legend of the Avvocato. When he came to the pitch we were all in awe. It was as if he had won 10 World Cups, 10 Champions Leagues and 10 Scudetti.

“Andrea must recreate the same magic with the youngsters.”

All I Have To Do Is Dream

2010-09-06T03:35:00.000+10:00

I've lost my will to blog for about a month now, unless it's Juve. I guess I can finally say I've - been - too - busy! HA HA HA. No that's not true, really. But damn, I'm still uploading photos with my old haircut. Anyway, this was our last event together before Calvin's farewell dinner and subsequent departure to the States a month ago, hope he is well.

Just finished 3 assignments due tomorrow morning, I am feeling victorious!

ps - Received three messages from three very dear friends who are keeping in touch and whom I miss greatly. So yeah, I miss you guys. Thank you for remembering me, however small the gesture may be, it is greatly appreciated, because I am corny and easily attached that way. :) So remember folks be kind and make someone happy!

Rock It

2010-08-30T22:26:00.000+10:00

I guess after 3 years of studying engineering, I've finally reached the point where I really have to prioritize, and that is my uni work. I know, I know, it's about time and I should've done it a long time ago, la dee dah. It's not me, I don't think I've changed, I'm probably still the same playful, ignorant person, but maybe the workload has become too intense that I can no longer afford all the luxuries I once could, or maybe it's the fact that I've met the boys whom I am eternally grateful for for their kindness and for keeping me grounded. Still, having to watch everyone party their night away tonight, or not being able to share it with them, makes me feel slightly disconcerted, but it's the right thing to do given the circumstances. I just have to remind myself opportunities to do the right thing would rarely come by and if I have made the right choice I should saviour it, because knowing me, I never suffer from a shortage of chances of fucking up.

I'm sorry I'm just tired, plus Juventus as all of you may very well know has not been kind to the fans. Au revoir ..

David Sergio Trezeguet

2010-08-29T12:37:00.000+10:00

Trezegol, our #17 -

I do not know what to say, except that I am very lucky to have seen you play in the black and white jersey. Thank you for all the wonderful goals you've scored for us, thank you for staying with us in B - you are a living legend, it will take a lot to fill in your shoes for our future strikers. I am just so grateful for all you've done, and can only feel so lucky to have been there with you throughout your Juventus journey. I wish you all the best in your personal and professional life. It saddens me greatly to see you go, knowing that all good things, must eventually come to an end.

Thank you David Sergio Trezeguet.

Caro David,

è arrivato il momento di dirsi ciao. Ho perso il conto delle stagioni che abbiamo giocato insieme e dei gol che abbiamo fatto. Di sicuro, siamo la coppia che ne ha segnati di più nella storia della Juventus, più di Charles e Sivori – due immensi campioni - e questo lo sai bene è un grande orgoglio per entrambi.

Quante formazioni in questi anni finivano così: Del Piero e Trezeguet, Trezeguet e Del Piero. Quante vittorie, quante delusioni (per fortuna, molte meno delle soddisfazioni che ci siamo tolti), quanti abbracci: non c’è altro compagno con cui io abbia giocato di più.

Diciassette gol all’anno di media, come il tuo numero di maglia: questo basta per dire che bomber sei. Ma per me che ho giocato al tuo fianco, non c’è bisogno di numeri. Ritengo sia stato un onore fare coppia in campo con uno dei più grandi attaccanti del mondo, in assoluto.

Adesso le nostre strade si dividono, nel calcio succede. Ti saluterò nello spogliatoio, ma mi fa piacere farlo anche pubblicamente: in bocca al lupo per la tua nuova avventura. Avremo tanti bei ricordi da condividere, la prossima volta che ci vedremo.

Arrivederci, David.

Il tuo compagno Alessandro

Laredo

2010-08-29T03:31:00.001+10:00

Oh, my love, don't you even know?
Oh, my love, are you really gone?

ps - this is no longer my hair (thank god)

For Emma

2010-08-26T01:51:00.000+10:00

It's been a bad day for Juventini worldwide.

Trofeo Berlusconi

2010-08-23T21:40:00.000+10:00

This cup is a total waste of time. Thank god no one got injured. Still, I hope this win would be a morale boost to the team. Nice penalties boys. Still have a lot of work to do though. Chop chop.

DID ANYONE SEE INZAGHI AND DEL PIERO HAVE A CHAT AFTER THE PENALTIES? MY PRINT SCREEN BUTTON IS NOT WORKING PROPERLY, BUT, WOW, WOW, WOW ... :(

1901

2010-08-22T10:13:00.000+10:00

Goodbyes usually make me insanely sad. But somehow, this time around, I just felt grateful for having met and spent so much time as a trio with these two. Though things have/will change, it didn't feel like the end.

Juventus News

2010-08-21T15:34:00.000+10:00

I want to say - with great pleasure - oh, I really am excited -

Welcome to the family, Krasic.

ps am thinking of starting my own "livejuventuscommentary" twitter page, that way I contribute to the general well being of Juve fans worldwide and I won't miss a game, what do you think?

Sturm Graz vs Juventus

2010-08-20T07:06:00.004+10:00

The Good

- Bonucci :)

- Del Piero coming on and anything Del Piero

- Amauri's goal

- (very strong) Krasic rumours

- Pepe

The bad

- Lanzafame

- Marco Motta

- Amauri missing more chances and snail like goal rate

- Sissoko's wayward passes

- Selling Poulsen and leaving us with 3 CMs

The ugly

- De Ceglie

- The defense

- "Let's defend (when we can't) after a goal lead" I swear these players forget what club they're playing for, absolutely disgusting second half, have you no sense of shame

- The commentator mispronouncing every single Juve player's name except Pepe's and refusing to say "Lanzafame", to an extent that football legend Del Piero is called "Del Petrol".

Staring at the Sun

2010-08-19T21:00:00.000+10:00

James

2010-08-15T15:21:00.001+10:00

And, James, he came to the door
Wanting to know for sure
Why love gets up and goes
I'm sorry, but it had no place to grow
Oh, James. My love for you is stronger, don't you know?

Happy Birthday Superpippo

2010-08-08T22:26:00.000+10:00

9/8/2010

Happy birthday to one of the most prolific strikers I've had the pleasure to watch, and to a player who introduced a 9 year old girl to her greatest passion in life.

Juventus vs Shamrock Rovers

2010-08-06T12:26:00.003+10:00

LEGEND.

Capita di vedere a Modena un papà tenere per la mano il suo piccolo figlio alla fine della gara. Avrà 5 anni e ingenuamente gli chiede: «Papà chi ha segnato?». E lui guardandolo negli occhi: «Un campione: si chiama Alex Del Piero».

Translation:
In Modena I saw a father holding his little son's hand at the end of the match. The 5 year old asked: "Dad, who scored?" and his father looked into his eyes and said: "A champion. His name is Alex Del Piero".

Just Friends

2010-08-05T10:02:00.000+10:00

There's an uphill battle I'm facing, with very big and harsh consequences if I fail. No idea how it'll go, I want nothing more to get through it but it's much harder than I anticipated. If I do, I'll make a gold medal for myself and wear it everywhere I go. Come on Salihah, persevere!

LOL @ the post title

Paris

2010-08-03T13:19:00.000+10:00

Foals was really good. Craziest crowd and front man ever. So lucky of us to catch Yannis :) Went for my first studio session with Andy (cycling coach) yesterday, very helpful and nice bloke, really happy about that. Missed this morning's lecture, I hope never to repeat that again - I don't know, my body wasn't just responding to the mental urge of waking up even though I made a point to sleep early, which I did.

Kinda hungry. I am doing alright.

Satellite Heart

2010-08-01T17:01:00.000+10:00

With every sun that sets I am feeling more
Like a stranger on a foreign shore
With an eroding beach disappearing from underneath

And when my mirror speaks it never minces words
Because these eyes don't shine half as bright
As they used to do and they haven't for quite a while

Because I'm a man who hides from all that binds
And a mess of fading lines
And there's a tangled thread inside my head
With nothing on either end

I always fall in love with an open door
With a horizon on an endless sea
As I look around the ones who were standing right in front of me

And then my mirror speaks with irreverence
Like a soldier I can't command
It sees a frightened child in the body of a full-grown man

Cayman Islands

2010-07-31T12:22:00.000+10:00

Knowing what's the right thing to do is easy, acting on it is a different ballgame altogether.

/cryptic

Oh by the way my sisters, mother and I took the bus from Jalan TAR to Central Market - it was awesome, my first time on a bus in KL unless it's a primary school trip!! Jakun gila, surprisingly convenient

Pokerface

2010-07-30T11:44:00.000+10:00

Yesterday I just realized how happy I really am. And this is probably going to bite me back in the ass and maybe bad things will happen and I will fall into one of my depressive modes or whatever, I don't know, (houngers - are you bipolar?) but I'm trying this new "positivity" thing, and you know I've really stopped worrying about the future and all those things and just be, and, I, am, happy. I know talking bout "how happy you are" is barf material, but it's a good change from the continuous whining, and positivity like its counterpart is infectious, so here's hoping y'all are feeling the love too!

Or maybe I'm just happy Juventus won. SEE? Good stuff man :D

I've got my Foals post stashed somewhere and the likes but I just wanna finish uploading the holidays photos first I'm anal about this blog that way. Gotta run have a good day loved ones

Flashback

2010-07-28T12:16:00.000+10:00

Panini : Hello again, Chowder.

Chowder: (In British accent) Um, hellow Panini. I have a message for you from Chowder. Who I'm not.

Panini : Uh-huh

Chowder: Yes. Chowder has moved for-ward, and cannot be your boyfriend.

Panini : Where did he move to?

Chowder: Um... down the street, to the next city...

Panini : ....yes?

Chowder: He's dead. Chowder's dead.

Panini : Want a cookie Chowder?

Chowder: Would I????!!! Oh man!!

I love Chowder!! Catch him on Cartoon Network :D

Juventus Top 15 Goals

2010-07-26T23:07:00.002+10:00

This made me very emotional. :(

Love Veritable

2010-07-26T22:45:00.001+10:00

Okay screw this. I don't think I can be a housewife - I thought I would clean the toilet today, so I scrubbed here and there - used bleach - I don't know how to use bleach or even how much I'm supposed to use - room smelled pungent, did I put too much? - then swept the floor - and by then I am tired and unfit - I still have to vacuum (yes I do intend to vacuum the floor don't ask) - and then mop - and that's just one part of the toilet - I thought I'd do at least half the house, ha - oh dear oh dear - I wonder if Mama's textbook has anything on bleach? Yes she gave me an old school housewifey textbook, it's quite brilliant I must say, even tells you types and how to take care of milk, eggs etc.

First day was busy, subjects looking harder than ever, but after last semester and meeting up with the boys today I feel slightly better and slightly motivated - Calvin will be sorely missed! Melbourne's quiet, well in my life it is, at a phase where I cbf - I'll drop out of it soon, as I always do, funny how Nadeera says she knows and understands my need for "alone time" ... anyway on to more interesting things I have a resume appointment coming up, scouting and applying for internships both in KL and Melbourne - I prefer KL but I could earn some money with Melbourne and if Wolf Parade is coming in January... well...

Well I guess my housecleaning break is over, hand smells of bleach, aiya. FOALS soon, I have a feeling I may blog about how I cried while they performed "Blue Blood", Juve has UEFA preliminaries this Thursday I can't wait to watch, Serie A please return soon I am dying without football, and I am feeling positive.

One more thing - I love masjid wilayah at night, so beautiful. That is all.

We Own The Sky

2010-07-25T17:37:00.001+10:00

Feeling lethargic, most eventful flight ever, threw up in the aircraft toilet followed by a total blackout session for six hours. Leaving for Melbourne doesn't get better with time. I honestly think I am only really happy when my family's close by, even though they drive me MAD sometimes

Too many photos to upload, going bit by bit

I am sorry sometimes I say things about people I barely know and I usually do not mean half of them - I do not judge, but I guess it is easier to just blame/vent on everyone else, which is stupid. I know this has nothing to do with anything, but I feel guilty and it makes me feel better at least writing it out so there

Juventus 2-1 Lyon, Pepe scored, Pasquato played! I hope he still remembers me, ha ha ha!

I think I'll have to take another nap for the umpteenth time, body is in such discomfort still

Hope all is well with everyone :)

How Come, How Long

2010-07-18T17:33:00.001+10:00

"The new year drifts in, no better than the last. Much as I wanted to, we didn't go out. In fact, it is not that we didn't go out but more so that I didn't go out with him, for a very, very long time now. I do not understand why he thinks that I do not need to go out. I feel extremely frustrated and sometimes sick of my life. The matter is made worse by the fact that I am pregnant - though he thinks I intended to get pregnant. No, I did not intend to get pregnant. It happened that's all. Tonight I am 7 months' pregnant and I am left alone. Here he is saying I intended whereas in actual fact I dread the idea of becoming responsible for the baby's future. I am tied - I feel I am so responsible for too many things and I do not know how much/far more I can handle. It is not only tonight, but I have felt upset like this before that sometimes I wish I will die when I give birth to this baby - then he will know what it means to be responsible for them - though how much sorry I'll be for the kids but I feel I simply cannot handle all this anymore."

Heart Skipped a Beat

2010-07-10T12:09:00.001+10:00

The end :)

ps - watching wild horses cross the street was epic

Lovers in Japan

2010-07-09T14:19:00.000+10:00

how gorgeous is the sky in the northern territory? I love the fact that I'm typing and posting this up while listening to Lovers in Japan, I do miss the trip..

Jenny Don't Be Hasty

2010-07-08T14:20:00.002+10:00

Day... 4?

Soundtrack 2 My Life

2010-07-07T13:57:00.001+10:00

Ignorance the coke man
Ignorance is bliss
Ignorance is love, and I need that shit

Half of My Heart

2010-07-05T18:12:00.001+10:00

Day 2

Untitled

2010-07-03T12:44:00.000+10:00

Day 1 of trip, more action to come in the following days

we tiptoed around each other like heartbreaking new friends - ah, I don't know why I waited this long, but I'm so glad I got a copy of you for my flight yesterday, spontaneous prose!

Uruguay - Ghana could possibly be one of THE most heartbreaking world cup games ever.

Juventus Updates

2010-07-03T11:15:00.002+10:00

Greetings earthlings - been so busy this past month, hardly had any time to blog properly - so here I will just roughly give you an update on Juventus news first:

First and foremost, some news closer to 'home' - Juventus has officially begun the works for Juventus Soccer School in Australia and New Zealand WHICH WILL START IN MELBOURNE - fantastic news! Although I am not a young boy aspiring to become a famous footballer one day nor an accredited coach or student with a sports science degree which renders me ineligible to enroll in the school or university, the fact that Juve is shifting attention to Australia or Australasia is great news indeed - I intend on enquiring if they need volunteers for the school next semester, maybe send a resume, maybe work on my Italian...

Secondly, the new Juventus kit is out! I like the home jersey but the numbering looks like it's something you dig out of LEGO, and not too sure what the hell they were thinking with lightning bolts for the away kit? Maybe it looks better in real life or on the pitch.

Training has begun at Pinzolo, Marotta has hired Vargas from Almeria as new head scout - here's hoping to new fresh blood and talent, maybe add some creative flair that is so badly needed in the team.

Transfers: IN - Pepe, Storari, Bonucci, Martinez, Motta - too lazy to elaborate on positions and price tags, calciomercato is a complicated thing! Unfortunately Candreva will not be staying with us, we've already gotten rid of Cannavaro and Molinaro - thumbs up here - we'll see how the rest goes.

Have a good day fellow Juventini! Forza Juventus.

thank you to Capitano @ Juventus Calcio & the forum for lovely photos

Dice

2010-06-22T23:28:00.000+10:00

"It is your children, and other kids, for whom you are no longer heroes for. It is the dreams of your partners, your friends, your supporters that you have broken. It is the image of France that you have tarnished. How would you like people to remember you? What image do you want to leave behind?"

- Roselyne Bachelot's dressing down of the French national football team for all their antics and poor performance in the world cup. God, someone really needs to forward this to the Juventus team of 09/10 and reduce them to tears.

Italy vs New Zealand

2010-06-21T02:16:00.000+10:00

I am absolutely enraged right now I can't even give out my proper player ratings - in essence the team was lazy, looked like they didn't know what the fuck they were doing, tried to do fancy stuff when THE CONCEPT OF ONE TOUCH FOOTBALL SEEMED TO BE STUCK IN THEIR ASS, poor ball control, predictable and poor passing, looked like they lacked playing time together, I don't understand why Pepe was subbed but that's a different story, I wanted to chop Montolivo's legs off, our left side is ineffective, I could go on and on, but ITALY SUCKED BALLS TONIGHT.

Very, very, very unhappy.

Skeleton

2010-06-19T01:42:00.001+10:00

Pictures are deceiving, I'm not as fat as these photos indicate, it's a bad angle I swear, I swear, I ...

Italy vs Paraguay

2010-06-15T06:56:00.001+10:00

Just a quick recap of Italia's opening game in this world cup before I doze off and attempt to wake up early to study. ANYWAY - in general I was pretty happy with Italy's performance. I admit I underestimated Paraguay, credit must be given for their tight defensive unit and they were very quick to get back, but whilst they closed in our players this also means that they left space elsewhere. Did not appreciate their diving antics (ehem, Vera), but such is the nature of the game.

The first half was wet and I expected a goal to come from a set piece and so it did, unfortunately to Paraguay. Game was slow given the weather conditions and things picked up dramatically in the second - you could see Italy was fighting for an equalizer, the tension was building up and we were all very happy when De Rossi scored. Italy continued fighting, and so did Paraguay (although not as direct as Italy, the subs indicated so and they showed no sign of settling for a draw), and I thought both sides did the best they could to try and get a goal, but both were also defensively sound, and thus a draw I reckon is a fair result. I know Italy could've done so much better on their good day, but this is good enough - I've always known a good Italy side starts slow in a tournament ...

Now moving on to player ratings:

Buffon: What was he doing on Paraguay's goal? Very uncharacteristic of our usually reflexive keeper. Was subbed during half time, I am not entirely sure why - Buffon has been fighting some injuries these past few years, could anything have recurred?

Marchetti: Did not need to do much, Paraguay never truly challenged in the second half.

Zambrotta: Very reminiscent of Zambrotta in Juventus but I digress. Played very well, accurate passes, ran up and down the field, true fullback style.

Cannavaro: A true Azzurri captain, the freaking general of the defence line, so classy and so experienced, made all the tackles and handled pressure from strikers oh so smoothly. Class.

Chiellini: I thought it was rather quiet of an outing for our dear Giorgio maybe I'm accustomed to seeing him being a hero in the black and white shirt, but defensively did well and I thought his tackles were clean too.

Criscito: Good job, to be honest I have my qualms about this because I thought some space was left empty on his side, but other than that, ran a lot and helped out many times - small sized, but could hold his ball. Get him back, Juve.

Montolivo: Did very well. Accurate passes and crosses, always feeding the ball (or at least tried to) into the box. Most creative of our midfield other than Pepe.

Marchisio: Rather disappointed with Claudio, didn't seem to handle the pressure from Paraguay when they're closing in on him well, it was good that he was substituted. Did not have any free reins in this game.

De Rossi: Goalscorer, in midfield in my opinion neither impressed or disappointed, was the link when needed in midfield, thought he did his defensive midfield duties as he should.

Camoranesi: Yellow carded, ha ha. Other than that wonderful cross/shot and a one-two with Zambrotta (former teammates hey) seemed to struggle to hold on to the ball when pressured by Paraguayan defenders as well.

Pepe: MAN OF THE MATCH. Effing brilliant, very hardworking, very impressive, very happy with his performance and I look forward to seeing him in Juventus.

Iaquinta: Will always be Iaquinta, tough physically, fail in crossings, but sometimes he wins you that important free or corner kicks.

Gilardino: Was okay, not entirely too sharp, didn't terrorize the Paraguayan defence.

Di Natale: Provided better challenge than Gilardino, but didn't get to leave much of an imprint after he came on as everyone was just scrambling trying to find a winner, maybe it would've been different if he came on earlier or started.

Did I miss out on anyone? Don't know, but that's what I thought anyways, good night and have a good day - Forza Italia!

Dawn Of The Dead

2010-06-13T17:38:00.001+10:00

I have a 25 year old whore's haircut.

On a more cheerful note, Welcome World Cup 2010! Forza Italia!

Halcyon

2010-06-06T09:32:00.001+10:00

I've developed a new layer of double chin, I'm seriously ballooning... :(

God certainly has been kind, I for one have never had any friends in engineering (unlike my college/school days, great stuff!) so it was such a wonderful thing to have been studying with fellow coursemates for the exams, I had forgotten what that felt like - I've always studied for my subjects alone, at my own pace, and it's not nearly as effective or enjoyable as studying in a group with those doing the same thing. Thing is, these boys are really smart, best of all they're extremely kind and helpful - and that I think is a pretty hard combo to find, we would all watch The Office during our lunch/dinner breaks, what better way to wind down than to watch Mr Schrute? Great cooks too, ha, Winston made lamb stew and roasted chicken while Jeff (who is not in the photo) made bubur chacha, yes that bubur chacha on a cold winter night, awesome hey.

Kinda makes you wonder what kind of sad deprived lonely person I am here eh, haha! Having my exams soon, please wish me the best of luck. I need it!

World Cup soon, and Juve has already offloaded Canna and Molinaro (thank god!), we've secured Pepe.. I haven't been following as closely as I should considering I've been too preoccupied with exams - I had a nightmare we started this season with -17 points on the table. I can't believe we're not in Champions League next season and will be coached by Del Neri, such tough times in our history, ach...

Journey

2010-06-04T12:47:00.005+10:00

oh Matt...

On a journey we can see
The real you, the real me

"Well it was basically just a day in the life of me. And Linda (Marigliano, Matt's girlfriend and bassist for teenagersintokyo) was in it as well, we were just having a day out, we got up in the morning and went to the beach… and that was about it! I mean the song "Journey" is also about a relationship it's got that message of 'stick with it and work through it and becoming stronger' but we actually went pretty literal with the video and had an actual journey and went to the beach"

First of all, this video below is not the official one, it's from the (very sexual) movie L'amant. Secondly - I fucking love everything about this song, and I mean, everything, the sound, what it represents, how I feel when I listen to it, the voice, everything - thanks Matt for this magic piece I can't stop listening to.

The Twist

2010-06-01T17:12:00.001+10:00

"You made a promise to go, and you were told long before about this, and it is not our problem whether you've finished your assignment or your studying on that day, that was for you to organize and decide. You promised"

- found in Salihah's "how to avoid mistakes I've made"

Break You Off

2010-05-30T01:14:00.000+10:00

Went for my first AFL game last night. Boy the Aussies are really into their version of football! Hate to admit it but it was pretty interesting, served me right for thinking the game was a mere rip off of rugby. Anyhoots, had a good night, the boys slept over and we talked until 7 am, it's a miracle I even woke up four hours later and headed to the library. But before that - while we had lunch -

GUESS WHO WAS AT DON TOJO HMMM? :)

I was like a mindless fan freak, but I can't help it, I really am a big fan of Miami Horror! Had a 5 minute convo, that was enough to keep me smiling for hours. Speaking of which, the new album's coming out in August I was told!

So happy! Anyway, yeah. I've got a lot on my mind, two bombshells were sorta dropped on me later today, it was very disconcerting, but I was physically tired so I slept and now that I'm awake I can't really be fucked to think about things. Enough's enough, I just want to do well for my exams now, to hell with everything else.

24

2010-05-26T02:31:00.000+10:00

The greatest TV show I've ever known, and have first fallen in love with, first DVD box set (one of many) I've bought ... has come to an end. I'm going to fucking miss this show, absolutely nothing like it. Hope they won't cancel the movie...

And The Boys

2010-05-25T16:57:00.001+10:00

It's been raining and everything's gloomy, was absolutely drenched in the stadium and now I am sick ... Exams are coming up and all I want to do is just sleep and snuggle under the covers with a good book and the telly on. AIYAAA... would love some porridge and warmth right now.

and there's gold falling from the ceiling of this world
falling from the heartbeat of this girl

I've Got Your Number

2010-05-24T17:32:00.001+10:00

Ah, who doesn't love exam season, vulnerability at its best. I can already feel it!

And no, I am not going to talk about how this football season aka worst football season of my LIFE ended. I'd like to bury it deep inside somewhere and never find it again.

Young Adult Friction

2010-05-20T18:51:00.002+10:00

First of all, who the hell comes up with "Love, Loss & Intimacy" as an exhibition title? Almost put me off (also aroused my curiousity though I gotta admit.) I don't think I'll ever date an artist/painter, they seem to enjoy fucking and beauty a bit too much, don't think I could share a man with other (ever changing) women throughout my adult life. I hate paintings that are bright, contemporary, colourful, I seem to have a strong affinity for those that are dark and sombre.

Gigi Del Neri signed a 2 year contract with Juve, now I REALLY feel like a UEFA Cup Club, fml, but I hope Marotta will be able to turn things around, or make it better at the very least.

Love Lost

2010-05-19T19:13:00.003+10:00

He said I should draw it out, and so I did.

Always Like This

2010-05-18T01:43:00.000+10:00

I hate goodbyes.

And why the hell do I look fat in these photos? Oh man the last thing I need is to feel more insecure about my body. You are a sex kitten you are a sex kitten you are a sex kitten you are ... ooh, pineapple tarts, I'm gonna eat some at 1.30 am. Aih, too emotionally vulnerable tonight after sending Azmir off, best thing to do would be to sleep and start a new day.

My Mirror Speaks

2010-05-17T10:36:00.000+10:00

And when my mirror speaks it never minces words
Cause these eyes don’t shine half as bright
As they used to do and they haven’t for quite a while

Cause I’m a man who hides from all that binds
And a mess of fading lines
And there’s a tangled thread inside my head
With nothing on either end

Gonna miss ya buddy, have a good life back home - get a job and a girl, fool!

Malaysia vs Denmark

2010-05-13T18:53:00.000+10:00

COME ON!! LET'S DO TO CHINA WHAT WE DID TO THEM IN GUANGZHOU!

Despite Choong Hann and Zakry/Hoon losing, I felt so proud last night - if they went down, at least they went down fighting. No one gave up, and that's all that matters in sports really. Thank you boys, really made my day. See you on Friday! Great job Chong Wei, KKK/Boon Heong, Hafiz!

Amazing how sports can unite people - was watching the coverage at the library and a random Malaysian guy came over and said, "hey sorry but I can watch for a while too?" I love the fact that there are other Malaysians elsewhere, US, UK... sharing the same spirit and love for our nation's badminton.